I work with many people who fear losing trust from their partners.
Often, they come to me and express similar concerns: "I'm afraid to be myself. When I say something, he doesn't accept it and shuts down. I'm scared that he will change and leave. I have to be good. The way I am is not suitable. If only he were warmer, more attentive, and kinder - then I could relax and be happier. What should I do?"
Here's what I could say in response.
We often fear losing trust from our partners and their disappointment in our past actions long before we even met them.
When we hold onto emotionally significant situations within ourselves, an internal myth arises that if we were to tell our partner about something shameful or embarrassing, we would devalue ourselves in their eyes.
These situations can vary greatly. From past relationships and the fear of repeating the same patterns to the inability to express vulnerable desires due to the fear of offending our partner and losing their trust.
Such thoughts often act as barriers between us and our partners. These barriers literally block parts of our emotions that could enrich the relationship.
That's why, when working with individuals who bring up such concerns during sessions, I don't provide ready-made instructions or solutions.
Each person discovers their own concept of Love and Trust.
However, when we work on:
- their thoughts, feelings, and perceptions about relationships with others,
- their own behavioural patterns in relationships with their partners,
the fear of intimacy,
- forgiveness and letting go of the past,
- the readiness to give and receive Love in their lives,
- self-acceptance and deep self-discovery,
then individuals make astonishing discoveries for themselves. They can see what hinders them from building strong trusting relationships and take steps to move away from "parental" programming, myths, and destructive beliefs about Love. They can work on overcoming the fear of entering new relationships and, of course, connect with their own beauty.
In this, I see the purpose of my professional work.
P.S. Small update: There is one spot left for a client in the Systemic Constellation group session on June 24th in Victoria, BC. We also welcome deputies and observers. Please send a direct message to reserve your spot. More detail about the Group Constellation Work here
Bookings for individual online sessions are ongoing. I only work with new clients after an introductory meeting. Book a free 30 min session to find out if I am the right practitioner for you
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